Pickles and Other Cliches
by Veggie Freak
Summary: You know you wanna read this, but read Brat Girl's Yet Another Cliche first.


For all the authors that are in this **DON'T KILL ME!!! **This is my first attempt at putting people I don't know into a story. If I offend anyone, please don't spam me, you can just send me a really mean e-mail and I'll make it all better, I swear. Oh, and as I said before, I recommend reading Brat Girl's "Yet Another Cliché", and Andalite Girl's "Would You Like Some Fries to go With Your Cliché?" first, this will make more sense.   
  
  


Pickles, and Other Clichés   
By: Veggie Freak  


  
Veggie Freak looks down at her spiffy purple watch that gives her her magic omnipotent fanfic writing powers. "I like this magic ball much better than my 8-ball shaped vegetables that were turned into fishy flakes. This will last longer too, it has a life time warranty, the vegetables kept rotting and I'd have to get new ones."   
  
Suddenly Brat Girl pops into her room, "Hay, Veggie, can I borrow your watch again? I want to write another cliché."   
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!" Veggie Freak yells knocking Brat Girl off her feet, "I just got it back from you and you got dog hair on it."   
  
"I'm sorry, okay? My dog has more hair than body mass, I can't help it."   
  
Veggie Freak whispers something quietly to her watch and pushes the 8-ball button. An evil smirk appears on her face when she sees the LCD display flashing YES! She snaps her fingers. Veggie Freak then remembers that she can't snap and simply claps. Brat Girl's dog Max then appears in front of her with an electric razor along side him. Veggie Freak then sets to work shaving the little dog bald to compensate for the hair on her watch. When she finally lets the little dog go he looks more like a strange cross between a rat and a hairless Chihuahua.   
  
"Now, back to writing my newest cliché." She says cracking her knuckles and sitting in her arm chair in front of the computer. She's about to write when suddenly she's sucked into the computer screen followed by Brat Girl and her rat-dog. She falls and lands in a heap on top of a pile of duty hay next to BG and her, well I guess it could be called a dog.   
  
"Who're ya'll?" says a strange guy in a cowboy hat coming over for a closer look.   
  
"AHHHHHH!!!! It's a hick!!!" She says clapping all three of them out of the barn. "Phew, that was a close one." Veggie Freak says wiping the sweat off her forehead.   
  
SORRY WRONG BARN GIRLS.   
  
Said a big powerful voice.   
  
"Elamist," said VF looking around her.   
  
NO, IT IS I, STEVE-0.   
  
"Oh, great and powerful Steve-0, whom I do grovel before," Veggie Freak says groveling, "what is it you wish of me?"   
  
UH, NOTHING, GET UP, YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT.   
  
"So sorry to have offended you oh great fan fiction writer of life."   
  
STOP IT OR I'LL HAVE TO SLAP YOU.   
  
"Stopping, oh great one."   
  
Steve-0 sighs and shakes his head.   
  
SURE, OKAY, I'VE COME HERE TO TAKE YOU TO THE ANIMORPHS FOR YOUR   
NEXT CLICHÉ, GET UP, AND STOP TALKING.   
  
Veggie Freak stands up, claps, and a zipper appears across her mouth.   
  
Steve-0 sends the two girls and the........dog to Cassie's barn.   
  
The three of them appear in the middle of the group that are all twitching and quivering in corners.   
  
"Too. Many. Authors." Rachel says with her head twitching back and forth.   
  
"Stop it," says VF, "cower if you must, but no twitching.   
  
"Hay, what am I doing here anyway, I haven't done anything since we first disappeared?" Says BG holding her........dog to her chest.   
  
"Oh, well, just go sit over there, maybe I'll feed you later."   
  
"NOOOO!!!!!!! Please, no more red tailed hawk, it tastes really bad, no offense Tobias."   
  
< None taken, really, I'd prefer not to taste good, I really don't like being eaten. > Says Tobias, stopping quaking for a few minutes to talk.   
  
"You know what?" Says Veggie Freak with a light bulb appearing over her head. Veggie Freak grabs the light bulb and throws it across the barn, "I should bring in some other authors. She whistles, then remembering she can't snap or whistle she just stamps on the floor a bit. Suddenly Andalite Girl, Amy, Mette, Pinto, Fishie, D.M.P, Teague, Daughter of Demetri, and Tobiasrulz all appear.   
  
Amy hides the Ever Sacred Dryer Lint she was talking to behind her wing and looks up. "Um, what are we doing here, I was just talking to my lint and them I'm here, who's writing this story?"   
  
Veggie Freak meekly puts up her hand and all of them look at her accusingly.   
  
"What?" says Veggie Freak innocently, "I thought you people _liked_ being in self insertion fics." _  
  
_"We do," says Teague, "but you got us all at very bad times, I was just about to see if I could use this really nifty potion I found to make *N Sync disappear and now it's been lost in the transfer." Andalite Girl goes over to her and the two of them start plotting the demise of the evil group *N Sync. _  
  
_"And I was_ just_ getting some inspiration for the best column of all time, and now, poof, it gone." She went over to a hay bail and sat next to Cassie who comforted the distraught columnist.   
_  
"And my toe was just_ healing completely and now it hurts again, she said stroking her lint and going to the corner to nurse her sixth blue tow.   
  
"I don't know what I was doing and that's the worst thing off all," says Pinto, "Oh, wait, I was asleep and having a very nice dream about the man of my dreams sweeping me off my feet and then I come here, and basically, he's not here," she says, then she looks around and spots Marco in the corner, "oooh, but I'll settle for you, she says cuddling up next to him.   
  
Veggie Freak went over to the very ticked of looking D.M.P. who was glaring at her.   
  
"And what's _your _problem?" She asked.   
  
"Ever since we got married I've done all the work, I cook, I clean, I take care of the kids-"   
  
"We don't have kids D.M.P."   
  
"Well, if we did I would be the one taking care of them, and you never comment on how nice the house looks."   
  
"We don't even live in the same house."   
  
"Oh, yea, well, still!"   
  
"D.M.P. I think we should get a divorce." Veggie Freak said gently.   
  
"Why?" said D.M.P. sadly.   
  
"Well first of all, we're both female and strait, plus, I've fallen for Biff." Veggie Freak said dreamily.   
  
"Oh, okay, I didn't like being married to you anyway, who's this Biff person though?"   
  
Brat Girl pipes up from her hay bail, "He's-"   
  
"None of your business!"   
  
D.M.P. shrugs and runs out of the barn to see if Aniblaire (who is male) will marry her now that she's single.   
  
Daughter of Demetri, who had been staring at Tobias intently since she showed up, walks over to him and takes a coconut from out of her pocket, (she has big pockets), along with a piece of string and attempted to attach the coconut to his leg.   
  
< What the H*** are you doing to my leg. >   
  
"Are Red Tailed hawks migratory?" She asks successfully attaching it to his leg.   
  
< NO! > He says trying to kick the large nut off, < Why? >   
  
"Well," she says stroking her chin, "a five ounce swallow can not carry a one pound coconut, and African Swallows aren't migratory, so I was wondering if a hawk could carry one, are there red tailed hawks in England?"   
  
< I don't know, get this thing off me and go away! > He says still struggling with the string on his leg.   
  
"Fine, I'll just go," she says snapping, (lucky, she can snap) and disappearing.   
  
< WAIT! YOUR COCONUT > Tobias yells after her.   
  
Tobiasrulz walks over to him and gently removed it. Before she can throw it away, Daughter of Demetri appears and takes it from her, "I forgot my magic 8-ball coconut," she says before disappearing again.   
  
Fishie walks up to Veggie Freak and glares at her, "And I was_just_ about to pull of the worlds greatest escape from the BFFACC using my little brother Matt as a decoy and then, I'm here, and now my plan won't work." She goes to talk to Rachel because Cassie, Marco, and Tobias are all occupied and she doesn't want to talk to Ax or Jake.   
  
Ax, feeling rejected by Fishie goes to talk to Amy still whimpering over her tow. < What species are you? > He asks quizzically, < I don't believe there is any Earth species that is blue with six toes and wings, are you an alien? > Amy, uncomfortable about being questioned, squeezes her dryer lint and disappears. Ax then decides to go talk to Andalite Girl because she's the closest thing to an alien left in the room.   
  
< Are you really an Andalite? > He asks hopefully.   
  
"Yes, but do not tell those humans or my spy mission will be ruined, my two hours are almost up, I must go." And she does a break dance and disappears.   
  
"Hay," says Veggie Freak seeing Andalite Girl leave, "where did she go in such a hurry?"   
  
< I do not know, maybe she went to get me some Cinibons. >   
  
"Sure Ax, you just keep telling yourself that."   
  
< Okay, I will do that. She has gone to get me Cinibons, she has gone to get me Cinibons. >   
  
"Ax."   
  
< Yes? >   
  
"Oh, never mind."   
  
< She has gone to get me Cinibons, she has.......................>   
  
Teague, having lost her person to plot against *N Sync with marches up to Veggie Freak, "I want to go home!" she yells into her face.   
  
"Okay, okay," she says backing away from the very angry girl. Veggie Freak sings "I'm a Little Tea Pot" while doing the motions and Teague disappears.   
  
Brat Girl who is getting bored with sitting in her corner goes over to talk to Mette.   
  
"Hi, I'm Brat Girl, thanks for putting me in your column."   
  
"You're welcome, now go away, I'm trying to remember my genius idea."   
  
Brat Girl walks away sulking and walks up to VF, "Can we pleeeaaase go home now?" She says whining like the little brat she is.   
  
"Hay, I didn't bring you here, it was the all great and powerful Steve-0, take it up with him."   
  
"Oh, I could never do such a thing, I'll just sit over there quietly.   
  
"Hay, all you authors over there, who wants to go home?!" Veggie Freak screams at the multitude.   
  
"ME!!!" Say Mette, Fishie and Tobiasrulz all together.   
  
"What about you Pinto?"   
  
"No thanks," she said snuggling closer to Marco, "I'm quite happy here thanks."   
  
"Okay then," says Marco piping up, "uh, take me instead." He tried to push Pinto off but she seems to be stuck to him with glue. Jake, making his first appearance in this story, squirts the two with glue-be-gone and Marco jumps up free. "Thanks man, I always knew you'd be there for me."   
  
Pinto, looking depressed, goes to join the authors going home. Veggie Freak pats them on the head and one by one they disappear.   
  
"Hay! What about me?" says Brat Girl leaving her corner once again. Veggie Freak takes Brat Girls..........dog and punts him out of the computer.   
  
"Well, that's one of you out of the way, now to get rid of us. You've all been very nice hosts and hostesses for the evening," she says to the Animorphs, "hope to see you again soon." And as the   
two disappear we see the Animorphs creating a 8-ball proof bomb shelter to keep her and all the other authors out, but it will never work. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA   
  
THE END   
  
FOR NOW   
  
  
  



End file.
